Motivation and my Inner Monologue

I ran into Tracy at the gym tonight and saved her from what I am sure would have been a tedious, stretchy yoga class - replaced by a double set of Paul's finest upper body routines complete with medicine ball burpies :)  It was fun to have someone to work out with who was just as sweaty as I was - instead of Paul who maintains a sporty but sweat-free aura the entire time.  I forgot my headband tonight too, so I had some super sweet hair - which was awesome. 

Tonight was upper body because we (Tracy, Todd and I) ran the 5k Sunshine Race sponsored by Lululemon in Masonville on Sunday.  It wasn't supposed to be a hard course, and I couldn't really figure out why it was so challenging until Tracy mentioned that the second half of the race was basically a long up hill climb - not steep, but never-ending, with no down parts in between.  The race last weekend was super hilly, but at least it was followed by sections where we were running downhill.  But through all of that, I managed to shave another 1:15 minutes off my 5k time :)  Yeah me!!!

I did notice though that my work out gear was in some serious need of updating.  Everyone else was all 'lululemoned' out and I was in a ratty t-shirt and Adidas capris.  So this year for girls shopping weekend, that will be my goal - to find some great workout gear for an even greater price.  As it stands, I wind up doing laundry every night so more 'stuff' is definitely in order.

Which brings me to the title...I was thinking about it again tonight.  I need to go out and buy these things so that I can go to the gym and workout comfortably - sure it doesn't have to be a $200 pair of lululemon capris with matching stretchy top, but I should at least treat myself to a few new t-shirts made of that 'wicking' material instead of my free Moosehead and Western Homecoming shirts.  But it all goes back to the fact that I still feel like I am masquerading as an athletic person.

Now I realize that this will change at some point, and I will start considering myself 'athletic' but for now that isn't what was going on in my head.  Which prompted me to ask myself what I was doing that was different than any of the other people who I see at the gym.  I am using the same weights and sweating on the same cardio machines - I am just a different size (for now).  And then I realized that my inner monologue was demotivating me...I have burned over 21,000 calories so far in this journey and lost 10.9 pounds - that is way more than I would have had if I hadn't taken this on!

So now I am going to work on my inner monologue not being so negative.  Everyone has been so positive throughout this experience, so it is about time I jump on that bandwagon and enjoy the ride!